naturally shy away from this because it feels uncomfortable! To dispel this misconception, don't forget that feedback CAN be positive. We can give positive feedback by acknowledging that that someone did a good job, or just saying thanks regularly. Not enough people do this in practice. It is giving developmental feedback that most of us shy away from. So, what do we do?

To overcome this discomfort in giving such feedback, let me suggest that 2 aspects need to be looked at - the will and the skill.

Will

Your will is your motivation in giving that feedback and the way you view the act of giving of feedback. What is your mindset towards giving feedback?

One way to shift our perspective is seeing feedback as a gift or present that we give someone – you may have heard this. If you give someone a present, you are giving him/her something that you deem to be of value. You are really adding value to him/her! For example, if you are the supervisor who observes that a subordinate could be more organized andor meticulous in his/her work. If you see giving feedback as an attempt to help him/her improve, rather than making your job difficult, then you’re looking at feedback in the right perspective. Let's take another example. If you are a consultant who sees giving feedback to your client as helping his organization improve, you are in essence trying to add value to him/her.

The second part about giving someone a present is what he/she does with it. It’s up to the receiver to open the present and decide whether they like the present and whether they will accept it. You can only give the feedback, it’s up to the person if he wants to accept it. So, look at feedback as an act to add value rather than pushing your own agenda, and don’t get upset or angry or frustrated if there is no change after the feedback. You can always try again and figure out the root of the problem. Being flexible when giving the feedback will also help you uncover potential root causes. More on this on the part about skill.

Skill

Having the will is not enough. You need the skill of giving effective feedback as well.
How do we ensure that feedback is given in a way that is objective to the person receiving the feedback?

First of all, before you give feedback, be sure to gather data. Data would come from your own observations as well as information from other people or sources.
If the feedback is about employee performance, be aware that sometimes employee performance is outside his/her control – a classic example is bad work processes outside a worker’s circle of control or influence. An employee who runs a bad work process will inevitably be affected by the faulty or inefficient work process.

Here is a common of giving feedback to keep in mind:

Permission – ask for permission
Observable Behavior – describe observations
Impact – describe impact
Listen – pause and listen
Collaborate – collaborate on next steps.

Lets look at each element in more detail

 

Next page

Most people that I’ve talked to say they find it difficult to give feedback. Most people that I have observed in the workplace do not give feedback, despite having gone through courses or workshops that teaches techniques of giving feedback. Why is that so?

For those who have the awareness of how to give feedback, I believe they still lack the skill to do it. It’s one thing to know about it, another to actually do it. The other key reason why people find it difficult to give feedback has to be do with the will or how we view the act of giving feedback.

I believe that most people tend to think of feedback as something negative that we tell someone, and all of us